2. Okay, we say no cover letter is necessary, but when we receive subs with the text only, no bio, no by-line, we're going to assume your author name is the one in your Submittable profile. Whoops ... I guess we used your husband's name in the magazine instead of yours. Sorry about that. Please tell us who you are. It's pretty important.
3. Please read the guidelines. If we say three poems, don't send ten. If we ask you to use the online submission manager, don't send attachments in an email. Our editors are located all over the world, and each submission is assigned to the appropriate one to read. If you send work by email, it can't get assigned to the appropriate editor, and if you send ten poems, we simply will not read beyond the third. In general, the guidelines make our reading period run smoothly, so that everyone has an equal chance at getting their work considered for publication. If you abuse the guidelines, you are not only jeopardizing your own chances of publication, but wasting time that could be spent considering other people's work.
"Hello, could you please replace my author biography on your website with the following?"
"Absolutely. No problem."
"Hello, could you please replace my author biography on your website again?"
"Absolutely. (grits teeth) No problem."
Tip: Avoid including dates and book titles in your bio. Make it something more general and include a link to your website for people to access your latest info.
Tip: Our word limit is 800 words. :-)
6. Please don't send your query to ALL of our email addresses AND via the contact form on our website. For reasons I think are obvious.
7. Please don't reply to a personal rejection with insults. We took the time to offer feedback. We don't get paid to spend time reading your work. In fact, any money that goes into the magazine comes from our own pockets, so we SPEND money to read your work. You got a rejection. Life sucks. So? Submit again. Or, if you feel bitter, submit somewhere else.
8. Do not send a submission with the cover letter addressed to editors of another magazine. Yeah, okay, it makes us laugh, and we fob it off as human error, but there are other editors out there who might get pissed off and just not read your work. (Not the right thing to do, I know, but editors are human too.)
9. Don't send emails asking us for tips on how to write a vignette. That's why we have the "Vignette writing tips" page on our website. I hate to break it to you, but reading it in your email, instead of on the website, isn't going to make it any easier to comprehend.
10. "Dear Sirs ..."
Does my headshot look tomboyish to you?
There you have it. There are many more, but I think I'm going to pass the baton to you. Have you had any experiences where literary magazine editors have mistreated you? How did you deal with it?